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 Fragment #3 - You're here

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2 participants
AuteurMessage
Alhena
Ink Star
Alhena


Nombre de messages : 206
Location : Glasgow
Date d'inscription : 14/04/2008

Fragment #3 - You're here Empty
MessageSujet: Fragment #3 - You're here   Fragment #3 - You're here EmptyLun Déc 29, 2008 1:19 am

Sunday, December 28th 2008
in Glasgow

Another evening on the list. Joe called me today. First time in five years. Christmas magic. He wanted to know how I was, and if I had any news. No, I don't, Joe. Do you think that if I had, I'll be staying here? And then, he gave me some news of his family, his wife Eileen, his son James and his daughter Tina. I didn't really care, but it was rarely enough this attention for me to stay civil. After a little while, he run out of ideas and said he would keep in touch. I hung up the phone very slowly, thinking how weird life was. To give me my brother, it had to take away Charlie.

The phone rings, and I pick up, half hopeful, half knowing I'll be disappointed. Sir Collomb, Charlie's dad, is calling me, like every two days.
"Steve?"
"Yes."
Silence.
"No news?"
"No, Sir."
Silence.
"Well... Good evening."
"Yes, you too. Good bye."

Knock knock on the door. I don't think it's really for me. I didn't have any visit for the last two weeks. Nobody comes here anymore, except Cameron and Sasha, occasionally. I get up from my beloved sofa. Just for the sake of looking civilised, I turn the lights on. I get to the door, and open.

And there she is. In my arms, at last... My love. You're here. I love you.
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Mesarthim
Ink Star
Mesarthim


Nombre de messages : 302
Date d'inscription : 09/04/2008

Fragment #3 - You're here Empty
MessageSujet: Re: Fragment #3 - You're here   Fragment #3 - You're here EmptyMer Déc 31, 2008 2:31 pm

Two thoughts: first of all, the minimalist dialogue was great. But then I was thinking: how come this is Charlie's father calling for news, while he is the one who got her in trouble? Does that mean he is doing nothing to look after her, that he is just waiting???
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