Fragment #27 - Pay Attention

“Hey Ed.” Sandra says as she saunters into the living room. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure.” I put down my book with gratitude for this interruption.
“It's about Lynne.” She says sitting down next to me.
“Go on.” I'm now feeling ungrateful, I heard the two of them arguing last night and the prospect of intervening as mediator makes the travels of Messer Marco Polo seem highly enticing... well not enticing, perhaps a better description is slightly less shit, like being flayed to death as opposed to being burnt at the stake.
“Well we had a fight last night... I suppose you know about that.” I nod my assent. “Well, it's this whole living hand to mouth thing that we have to do, and I know you help us out as much as you can. It's just that she has to work all the hours god sends and when she gets back she's too tired to do anything like go out for a meal or to the cinema.”
“Yes, I noticed that too.” In all honesty reader I have to tell you that my last statement is what you may call a naughty fib... that's to say a bare faced lie of the first magnitude.
“Well, I have some money that I've saved up and I was thinking about taking her back home with me to Cape Town for a few weeks as a holiday... What I wanted to know is if you think she would like that?” What a round about way she managed that one. Reader, let me ask you to ask yourselves this: Would you like to go on an all expenses paid trip to South Africa for a few weeks? - What was that? Yes? I thought so. I just wanted to find out if someone had been slipping crazy pills into my coffee at work.
“You know what Sandra? I think she will love it.” And so would I, but I'm staying here... all on my own... with nobody to bother me... with nobody to annoy me... and no strange urges to kill everyone. Sandra, I could fucking kiss you!