Fragment #36 - In the mirror

The door shuts. I turn around and look at myself in the mirror. I'm hardly wearing any make up but I don't like feeling it like that, when it's too hot. I brush my fingers on my cheek, and smile to the other me. I wonder how it would feel to have someone looking so much like yourself... A twin or just a sister. I pull my lipstick out my bag and quickly put some on. The other looks back at me, in the mirror. I don't really find myself attractive when I'm wearing make-up. Why am I wearing some, then? I have bloody no idea. I suppose simply because that's what you do when you go out on a Sunday night. I don't know why I don't like it either. Maybe it's because it hides who you are under a mask. It goes against my beliefs in sincerity and honesty. But again, like a mirror, it could reflect who you are in some part of you hidden far underneath the rest. Why this part of you could not come out now and then? Why do we have to choose?
I look at my face. This face. These eyes, this mouth. All these separate but inseparable items that represent me. That people can name. This amagalm is called Charlie. What does it mean really? Is my mouth more Charlie than my eyes? And those men, not a lot, but some still, who said they loved me. Did they love every single separate item that form the whole of my body and my personality? Is that what it means, to love? Or is there always something that you don't like but that stays hidden under all the other elements?
I close the zipper of my bag and leave the bathroom.