Fragment #31 - Impulse

I count again the pupils. Thirty of them. I get nervous any time I think to the fact we might lose one. How much loss are we allowed you think, one or two of them wouldn’t matter? No approximation is accepted with this. I’m thinking about the fact that I do lose things very often…

We are in front of the bus station, 8.30 am, right in time for our bus to Cordoba. We enter the station, thanks to me we already have our tickets. I can’t help having a look at the cashiers though, and I can see a familiar face. Mario. I actually know him a bit now. It feels good to recognize someone I know. Too bad actually that we will never talk again… And what if we do?

Suddenly a crazy idea comes to my mind. I take my small pink notebook out of my bag, and take a bit of paper out of it. I write with a pencil my email address on it. I just tell Alison I need a minute to check something with one of the salesman. No one is waiting at his cashier, I say hi, explain the best I can that we are leaving for Cordoba with my pupils. He actually seems glad I stopped by to say hi. I don’t really know what to say, and I just give him the bit of paper. I can’t explain that I’ve just felt we could become friends and I didn’t want to leave Seville with the idea we will never talk again. I add in English that he can write to me if he wants to. And then, feeling a bit embarrassed – but who would see this, my face have already been reddened by the afternoon we spent at the Alcazar Gardens yesterdays – I just turn round and go back to the Scottish group. Amongst the other people, they really look both white and red, and I can’t help smiling thinking we really look like a perfect group of tourists.

Alison stares at me, questioning. But I don’t want to explain anything. I just say “let’s go then, the bus is right over there at this stance”. I realize this was something pretty weird to do. It would have been easy, simple, normal even, just to go and say hi to someone I know. Why would I give her email address?

I take off my cardigan, I’m feeling warm now, from the emotion I guess. While I’m putting it back in my bag, Alison remarks something. Maybe she tries to go on with the conversation. “These beauty spots on your shoulder, they definitely look like a triangle, you know.” I’m wearing a sleeveless black dress and of course this is unusual for one of my colleague to see my shoulders. “Yes they do. There is actually a smaller one, some say this looks like a constellation.”

And then Mario and my weird impulse just slip my mind…