Fragment #68 - Halloween

Today is Halloween. Children in the streets, “Treats or Tricks!”, ghosts, vampires, monsters, witches… I never really liked it. One of the reasons for it, being that my mother would not allow me to go outside and knock on doors. She kept saying that it’s not the place for a well-educated young lady. But, mum, I didn’t want to be that! I just wanted to be a little girl. I’m walking down Buchanan Street, amazed nevertheless by the creations and the imagination of the children and older children for tonight. It’s cold but I don’t think it will stop them from staying outside later than the usual.
I’m invited to a party tonight. But I’m not sure I want to go. Sasha invited me. What the hell will I do in a party with people younger than me, half drunk for most of them? Having fun? answers a little voice in my head. But I don’t want to have fun. I want Steve back. I want his warmth, his arms, and his lips. I want his jokes, his wisdom. I want him as he is now. I look at the people dressed up around me. Can’t you see me? Can’t you see my perfect disguise for Halloween: I’m the heart-wounded? Can’t you admire my heart wide opened under your eyes…? I go home, and leave a one-hundredth message on Steve’s phone.